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 Like
most things in life, you will have an easier time raising
a teenager if you prepare first. Begin by asking yourself
these crucial questions. Are you a good role model? Do
you embody the values that you want your child to adopt?
If you cannot answer yes to these questions, you must
first work on improving yourself.
You can hardly expect your teenager to behave responsibly
if you don't.
The second step is self-education.
Books such as Deeply into the Bone: Re-Inventing Rites
of Passage edited by Ronald L. Grimes and Robbie Davis
can help you to devise substitutes for traditional rites
of passage.
Build a Strong Relationship with your
Teenager
There is no simple formula for building
strong bonds between parents and teenagers, but there are
some effective things you can do.
- Organise family activities that you know your
teenager will enjoy. Shared sports,
hobbies, karaoke sessions-anything that
involves parents and teenagers. Your child
will not only have fun but will also build
happy memories.
- Set firm guidelines for behaviour (and
live them yourself). The first step in learning
self-discipline is to accept external discipline.
As your teenager matures, you can loosen the
reigns, but, initially, it is your responsibility to
teach your teenager how to behave.
- Open your home to your teenager's friends. Treat
them with the same respect that you would
expect for yourself.
- Take time for your teenager. Go
out for a cup of coffee, have a meal, and most
importantly listen to your teenager's problems.
- Celebrate milestones -
your daughter's first date, your son's changing
voice, school reports, sports events, music
recitals - commemorate everything.
By highlighting physical, emotional, and
intellectual milestones (and marking them with a mini ceremony),
your teenager will have frequent opportunities to build
self-esteem while enjoying the rituals of growth.
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