David Moshman in his book Adolescent Psychological Development, describes the many adult tasks that adolescents must master. When it comes to alcohol, sex, driving, and the other challenges of teenage life, learning how and when to say no, and when to say yes, requires a set of skills. 

Teenagers need to know how to deal with peer pressure, conquer fear, overcome embarrassment and accept occasional failures. They also need to learn to set goals, make plans, and stick with them. 

For many teenagers, learning to deal with aggression is also an important skill. These skills do not come naturally; they must be mastered. Fortunately, there is help available for parents. A website maintained by two mothers, www.myria.com, is full of useful tips for helping your teenager develop crucial life skills.

Consider Structured Programs

The Midway Centre for Creative Imagination www.midwaycenter.com has developed a 40-hour program called "The Journey", which seeks to provide teenagers with the tools they need to make the transition from childhood to adulthood. 

The program, which requires teenagers to talk and write about themselves, recognises that adolescents have a natural need to prove themselves. The Journey's goal is to give teenagers the chance to do this without fast driving, drugs, or unsafe sex.

Celebrate the Rites

Our modern society lacks the rites of passage that communities once relied on to help teenagers become adults. Still, there is much we can do to help our teenagers become responsible adults. 

Teenagers must develop self-esteem, prove themselves, separate from their parents, and form adult identities. Our job is to help them do this safely, without engaging in foolhardy and potentially dangerous behaviour. To accomplish this, we should become models for our teenagers to copy, teach them the skills they need, and create our own celebratory rites of passage. In this way, families can continue to make a difference in the lives of their teenagers.