For positive personal development, it is very important for teenagers to have a circle of friends and to be able to socialise with them out of school hours. How do we then, as parents, guide our teens about their social lives and perhaps more importantly get them to take notice?

Without doubt the vast majority of teenagers will, at some point, need guidance. It is vital to always keep the lines of communication open. Listen to them when they want to talk to you, be active with your listening skills, if you don't give them your full attention they may be reluctant to try again for some time. Remember we need to capture the moment.

Try to be Involved

You might like to suggest to your teen that they invite their friends over so you can get to meet them. Their reaction to this idea will depend a great deal on your relationship with them. 

They will need to feel sure that you and any younger siblings won't embarrass them in front of their friends. It is important to remember that peer acceptance is paramount at this stage of life. Some suggestions include:

Hold a weekly dinner night for them to bring their friends. They can even be involved in meal selection and preparation. This can be great fun and an opportunity to try various styles of meals.

Values

Teenagers often mix in a groups of mixed genders, discuss with your teen about the opposite gender, how you would like your teen to treat and respect them, this could be seen as a bit of the old fashion values which have changed so much. However respect brings respect and is a good virtue to possess at any age.

Going Out

For your own peace of mind when you're teenager steps out with their friends, it may be worth providing them with a mobile phone and stress the importance of them letting you know if they intend changing their plans. Discuss and agree on a curfew that they must stick to. If they are staying out overnight ensure you know of where they are and what supervision is there.

If they are travelling by car you might like to suggest they elect a driver for the night, the driver doesn't drink alcohol. Next time its somebody else's turn. If you feel concerned about driving suggest they catch public transport. Be prepared to be a taxi for them at times, when they may be stuck for a lift home.

Try to be aware of what events are happening in your local area - or the city. Discuss your views and theirs on drugs alcohol, smoking, driving and speed. All this may sound heavy going, however all teenagers need to know you care, they may make comments to you about your questions [try not to overload them all at once or you wont achieve anything] but ultimately they will understand that you are doing this because you care.