How much freedom should primary school-aged children be given? In his autobiography Angela's Ashes Frank McCourt recalls spending many long hours in the park with his younger siblings from the age of four.

Many parents today wouldn't dream of letting their kids play on the nature strip for half an hour after school. The incidence of child abduction and other horrific crimes may not have increased dramatically, but the reporting of them has become more widespread and, as a consequence, the growing perception that it's a big, bad world out there. If there isn't a potential predator lurking behind every tree, the danger is on the roads. How can you be sure your child will look both ways, cross at the lights and ride on the footpath?

Letting Go

Parents vary widely in how much freedom they allow their children. Leigh, a single mother, would have preferred that her 11-year-old son didn't go to the local, trendy, inner city swimming pool with his 'go anywhere, do anything' neighbour. "I said 'no' but he went anyway," says Leigh. "He didn't come back until 7pm. It's hard to know when to let go. I let him go to a local park but he ended up bullying a smaller kid so he won't be going again for a while. A lot of it's trial and error."
Sally frequently leaves her two children, aged six and eight, in the house for 30-minute periods while she shops, confident that her eldest daughter, Isabella, will ring her mobile if there's trouble. Twelve months ago, she let Isabella walk to the local milkbar - 200 metres down a sloping main road with one small street to cross.

"I believe it is very important to encourage independence from the age you instinctively think your child needs it," says Sally. "Isabella is a very shy child that glows when she feels important or trusted and always takes the initiative when tasks are handed out. So by my giving her responsibility that is definitely not beyond her years, she is purchasing something the whole household uses - which makes her feel important - and at the same time she is working out the money, something she's had had difficulty with at school. When put into a real life situation this makes the accomplishment twice as potent."

Holding Back

According to psychologist Susan Davey, developing a child's sense of independence is essential to his or her overall growth and confidence. Over-protective parents are doing their kids no favours, as sooner or later they will be expected to do tasks by themselves and operate as individuals in the world.

However, it is important that independence evolves in small steps according to the child's maturity and that careful consideration is given to each request. It's not uncommon for 8 to 12-year-olds to ask if they can go for a walk with a mate (destination unknown), take the train into the city and 'hang', sleep over at a friend's house, spend the afternoon at the skateboarding park, check out a movie or spend a couple of hours at a major shopping complex.

"Kids want to do too much to early," says Ms Davey. "It's better to be a bit conservative because then they want to move on to the next thing. They get to 13 and they are bored so they look for more. Their expectations are constantly rising. Many Year 8 girls I have spoken with expect to have alcohol at their parties, even though they are underage."

Responsibility, she points out, is the other side of the coin. "Many kids get the freedom but not the responsibility." Independence can also be built by ensuring that kids contribute to household tasks from an early age. For instance, six-year-olds can be given responsibility for watering plants, shaking rugs, putting the clothes on the line, setting the table, making their own breakfast. Older children might put younger siblings to bed, mow the lawn or put a load of washing on. These tasks are not to be done for money, says Ms Davey, but viewed by all as a way of contributing to family life.

Are they ready?

Use your child's maturity and sense of responsibility as a guide to determining how much freedom you are prepared to allow. Ask yourself whether your child could deal with the unexpected. How would she react if someone approached her on the way home, or if the tram she had planned to catch didn't arrive? Would she have the wherewithal to ring home, could she ask someone trustworthy for help, would she turn down a suggestion by a friend to stay out longer?

Trust your 'spider sense' - that small voice within that says, "Charlie is just not ready for this. He's far too gullible" Don't be swayed by what other parents allow, as children will have different capabilities. "Sometimes the bells go off," says Ms Davey. "You know you are not happy with the situation but can't put it into words. Investigate your feelings."

As far as traffic is concerned, many children will not have strong peripheral vision for a long time. "They need experience with a safety net, an adult watching out for them when they are out and about," says Davey.

Small steps

Here are some ways to build a child's independence.

Playing in the street:
If the traffic is minimal or you live in a cul de sac, it can be a good opportunity to let children play in the street. Keep an eye on younger kids. Either check on them regularly or do some gardening so they get a sense of independence without knowing mum is at hand. Give older children a time limit and ask that they notify you if they are changing places. If kids accept your conditions and behave appropriately, you know they can handle the responsibility. Children need a lot of supervision. How closely you supervise depends on the age of the child and the situation.

Answering the phone:
Give children plenty of opportunities to answer the phone and the door when you are at home. Alternatively, you may instruct them not to respond to callers if you are out of the house. Make sure they can recite their own phone number, name and address.

Making purchases:
Encourage younger children to buy small items in shops. With middle primary school-aged children, you might wait outside the shop while they make a purchase. Encourage them to work out the cost and wait for the change. Resist giving children lots of money for excursions. A young child with $50 is likely to be preyed upon by older kids.

Walking or riding to school:
Much depends on geography, however many kids make their own way to school (or walk with older siblings) from grade 3 onwards while others start when they are in grade 5 and 6. In the early years, get your child to lead the way and make decisions for crossing the road. Point out 'safe houses' (if your community has a Neighbourhood program) and agree on a time your child has to be home if he is walking after school.

Negotiating transport:
In preparation for secondary school, develop your child's confidence on public transport. Suggest he hop on a tram, train or bus and meet him a few stops along. Rehearse the route he will take to secondary school, perhaps with an older sibling as support, and gradually decrease supervision until he can safely cope with travelling alone.

Films and shops:
Something for the 10-to12 year-old moviegoers! At first, you may want to check out when the session ends so they won't be hanging about waiting. With added responsibility you could drop them off or let them make their own way on public transport. Start with small, independent cinemas. At the big complexes, there is likely to be an older teen market flowing through.