How long the move?

There is no optimal time for a move interstate. For instance, a relocation that has a definite finish date may make moving easier because you can approach it as only a short-term stay, know that there is an end to it, and enjoy the adventure. But a short-term move could also be difficult, as you put a lot of effort into establishing new friendships and a new life in a different city, only to have the upheaval of leaving it all again, perhaps a year or so later.

"Having a clear date of end can make it easier to manage", says Meredith Hodgson. "But if it's long-term, it's very difficult because you don't know how long you'll be there."

One of the hardest aspects of moving to a new city for a family is being caught in transit accommodation for lengthy periods. Try to plan the move so that you have as little time as possible in transit accommodation. Being able to move into your new house almost immediately will speed up the settling process for everyone in the family.

Making the most of a move

The best advice to a working couple faced with moving, either on their own or with a family, is to approach the move as an adventure, full of possibilities and new experiences. Acknowledge to each other and to the children that it will not all be easy, that both moving and settling will be tough at times. Encourage everyone in the family to talk to each other about the move and what they're feeling.

A move will affect every member of the family differently. To a teenager, leaving a boyfriend or best friend behind can be bleak. To a toddler, seeing mum and dad unsettled and tired can be traumatic.

A mother at home with young children may feel pretty helpless as she's left to pick up the pieces while her spouse goes straight to work and is busy in his new role. The husband with the new job may find it tough to concentrate if there's disharmony at home.

A spouse who has followed their partner interstate may feel resentful at leaving behind their professional contact and networks as they strive to find a new position for themself. The pain will be short-term, however, and benefits of giving your family an experience in a new city, amongst new people will last a lifetime. The key is to be as supportive of each other as possible during a difficult time, and to seek advice, contacts and help when you need it.

Below are some resources you may find helpful.

Useful Contacts

Parent helplines operate in each state:

NSW: 13 20 55
VIC: 13 22 89
SA: 1300 364 100
QLD: 1300 301 300
TAS: 1800 808 178
ACT: 02 6278 3995
WA: 1800 654 432

Australiawide Relocations - (02) 9488 9444. Services contracted by companies, rather than individuals. They will help organise everything from finding a house and a school, to spouse networking, to mail redirection.

Parenting Australia (part of the Commonwealth Government) - (03) 9415 7186. They produce a booklet on resiliency for families facing difficult situations.

Parenting South Australia - (08) 8226 7022. Produces a number of extremely helpful publications and resources.

Parenting Network SA. This is a support service available for first-time parents of new babies in the western suburbs of Adelaide - (08) 8243 5544.

Relationships Australia - 1300 364 277 or www.relationships.com.au

NSW Family Health Kit: helping parents solve mental health-related problems. To obtain a copy - (02) 9816 0452.

NSW Parenting website, for copies of parenting publications at www.community.nsw.gov.au

We have also compiled a handy relocation checklist [pdf].