If you have ever been involved in a negotiation you will understand just how challenging it can be to deal with someone who doesn't “play the game”.

Some people can present you with habits, emotions and barriers that can hold up negotiations or make them difficult. To be successful at negotiating you need to be able to deal with difficult people and their behaviours and work towards a solution. Lets now look at some practical tips to help you negotiate with difficult people and their behaviours.

Handling the aggressive negotiator.

Aggressive action is sometimes used by people to put you off balance and interrupt your train of thought during negotiations. When threatened, the natural thing that many people do is react in an equally aggressive manner. However n egotiation guru William Ury, believes that by reacting in this way we can easily lose sight of our own interests and become part of the problem.   He says that striking back rarely helps to advance your immediate interests and usually damages your long-term interests. It is often regarded that by striking back you may indeed win the battle however you may still lose the war. In this situation often ceasing negotiations is the most appropriate form of action. However one must be prepared to accept the financial and emotional implications this may have prior to taking this course of action.

Stay focused

Even when things are really tough it is important that you stay focussed and calm. If emotions are high often it is best to distance yourself from the discussion, if only for a short break, to allow you to clear your mind and refocus.

Know the other person's interests.

You might know what you want and why you want it but do you know the other parties interests?   William Ury suggests that " Interests are the intangible motivations that lead you to take a position". If you have an understanding of the interests and motivation of the other party it becomes possible to propose options that better satisfy both of your needs.   One way of uncovering their interests can be achieved by simply asking the other party “Why do you want that?”   Obviously n egotiations are not always this simple and may involve a great deal of listening during discussions and observing body language to gain a greater insight.   Additionally a sking questions can also turn the negotiation into a problem solving or brainstorming session.

Watch for tactics.

Often people use tactics designed to hold up negotiations.   These t actics may include refusals to budge, intimidations, tricks or lies. Generally tactics can be easier to deal with if you are able to clearly recognise them before or when they are being implemented. By being aware of the tactics of the other person you may avoid blocking yourself into a corner or agreeing to  an outcome you don't want.

Use silence and pause.

Of course you may whish to implement your own set of tactics. One of the most effective can be silence. Often silence or pausing when negotiations are tense helps you to refocus and also may help the other person to calm down. William Ury says that, “some of the most effective negotiation is accomplished by saying nothing”. Often the use of silence during negotiation can make an emotional or difficult person feel uncomfortable, disarmed and more liable to accept your position.

Use slow down tactics to stop the difficult person in their tracks.

Slow down tactics can be useful in giving you more time to think especially if the other person is trying to force you to make a decision before you are ready. Effective s low down tactics include:

Avoid making important decisions on the spot, take time out of the negotiations even if you just leave the room for five minutes to think about your position.

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