Sound familiar? Have you heard any of these phrases said at work or in your personal life? Have you ever had similar thoughts yourself?

The word Expectation ( noun) is defined in the Oxford Australian dictionary as:

1 expecting something; being hopeful. 2. something you expect to happen or get.

Regardless of whether your expectations are in relation to work or in your personal life there are a number of similarities and things to consider when endeavouring to set and manage them.

In a work context things to think about include:

Reviewing job descriptions, role responsibilities and role accountabilities
Ensure that people clearly know exactly what tasks they are expected to perform and behaviours they are expected to display in their role on a daily basis. This process also ensures that any agreed expectations role focussed and not personal.

Setting realistic performance standards
Performance standards tell people how their performance and output will be measured. Performance standards also let people know what “good” performance means and what results are expected of them at a point in time.

Setting clear SMART goals
Try to set goals that are SMART- Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely.

In the book the “One Minute Manager” by Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson, “80 per cent of your really important results will come from 20 per cent of your goals. This insightful and practical book advocates the idea of One Minute Goal Setting which supports the ‘no surprises” notion in which everyone knows what is expected of them from the beginning.

Agreeing and put things on paper
Job descriptions, responsibilities, accountabilities, performance standards, goals and alike need to be jointly discussed, agreed upon and put on paper. This process ensures that everyone involved understands what is expected from the outset and the written documentation can be referred to at any point in time for clarification or review.

Regularly review goals to ensure performance expectations are being met
This may be achieved by a variety of evaluation methods from self evaluation, performance appraisals, 360 feedback sessions, review of KPI's and targets or a combination of methods. Where expectations have not been met consider reviewing and discussing the issues immediately and work towards correcting the actions or behaviour. Where required, consider providing opportunities for training, coaching, mentoring or additional on the job support to help improve performance.

Providing praise or reward for specific behaviours and performance that is “good ”
Generally speaking, people will continue to perform at their best if they feel good about themselves and are praised or rewarded for their performance. If you want someone to repeat a behaviour that meets your expectations, praise them immediately and let them know how you feel, don't leave them guessing.

If people don't meet expectations

• From the outset, let people know how you will respond to performance highs and lows or when they don't meet expectations. This ensures people know how you will respond and what to expect from your behaviour. In order to avoid causing confusion try to be consistent in your behaviour.
• React immediately and appropriately, don't leave it too long to correct behaviour.
• Ask why and provide the person with an opportunity to respond. There may be a reasonable explanation for why expectations were not met.
• Aim to be specific in your reasons and swift in your explanations, avoid rambling on or lecturing.
• The saying “go hard on the problem, soft on the person” is worth remembering.
• When it's over, move on and avoid bringing the issue up again.

People make mistakes and sometimes don't meet expectations, handled effectively you can maintain relationships, help to improve performance and hopefully prevent the person from repeating any unsatisfactory behaviour.

In a personal context things to think about include:

Setting and managing expectations from a personal perspective can sometimes be more challenging than in a work setting. Depending on your circumstances there is often less formality around things such as job description and performance standards. There can also be many variables that impact on the development of expectations. These variables do exist in a work setting but the emotional aspect of personal relationships may add to the complexity of setting and managing expectations.

Here are some things to consider:

• People see the word differently; therefore differences may exist in the expectations we set.
• The expectations we set may be based on a many variables including- values, culture, age, education, socioeconomic factors, skills, ethics, motivations and perceptions just to name a few. Differences exist amongst people in these variables.
• Sometimes people can expect things to happen in a particular way or for others to behave in a certain manner. Likewise, sometimes people may expect others to behave or respond to situations in the same way they would themselves. When these things don't happen expectations may not be met and people may feel let down or disappointed.
• Sometimes people expect others to behave or respond to situations in ways which may not be viewed as realistic or practical to those involved.
• Similarity expectations may be set that are too high or beyond the physical or mental abilities of the people involved. E.g. children.

When trying to set and manage expectations in our personal relationships you mind find it helpful to:

Take the time to discuss expectations with key people in your life. Try and focus on the areas that you have in common with each other and if possible discuss the areas where you don't agree or see things differently. Can you come up with a solution to manage the situation that meet the expectations of all of people involved?

If possible, look at the key areas in your life and discuss roles, responsibilities, performance standards and expectations. It could be used for anything, e.g. managing in the home, shopping, studying, children's homework, taking care of dependents etc. It can work in the workplace, why not in your personal life.

Discuss and agree on how you and your partner/family/friends will manage times when expectations are not met. Consider the process, behaviours; methods etc that you may need to adopt with each of the key people your life. Depending on the person or situation you may have to adopt a different style or method to suit. See point 8 above for more ideas.

Personally reflect on why you think your expectations are not being met- If your expectations are not being met on regular basis you might like to consider:

• Are you expecting too much from this person/situation?
• Are you being unrealistic or impractical in your expectations?
• Have you considered the needs and expectations of others? If not, why?
• Is the other person capable of meeting your expectations?
• Is the person willing to meet your expectations? If not, why?
• Does this person know and understand exactly what you expect?
• Have you talked to this person about how you feel? If not, why?

Depending on the circumstances of the situation, if your expectations are not met you may need to think about what actions you take.

In some circumstances, you may need to consider if the differences in your set of expectation “variables” (values, culture, age, education, socioeconomic factors, skills, ethics, motivations and perceptions etc) are manageable or not.

If for example, accepting the behaviour of someone impacts on your personal ethics or values, only you can decide if this is acceptable or not. Take the time to consider your response carefully. If the situation is emotional or conflictual consider taking some time out before deciding. Finally think about following through with the ideas in Point 12.

Last of all try and be patient. Like anything in life people make mistakes and at times fail to meet our expectations. Setting and managing expectations is not easy, it takes practice and time to master both at work and in our personal lives.