Why are some people able to sell ice to Eskimos, while others appear to be at war when they are putting their view forward?

Influencing, like many other interpersonal skills is part art and part science. Certainly, some people are born with natural charisma; however the majority of us need to understand the steps and principles that make us truly influential.

• Clear Messages and Meaning
• Stakeholder Identification and Involvement
• What's In It For Me – Step into their shoes!
• Credibility – Understanding what you are and what you are not!
• Believe in what you are saying
• Understand that influencing is a process
• Question don't tell
  

Clear Message and Meaning

• Understand in simple terms the single most important message that you want people to remember. Creating a simple statement that captures this message, assists memory and is a powerful reference point for people
• Ensure your simple message has a specific action that is linked to consequences (either stated or implied). People are moved by what could be!

Stakeholder Identification and Involvement

You've seen it happen many times. Someone had a great idea, gave the idea the green light and then was usurped by a department who was not involved in the project. To be truly influential, people need to feel as though they have been consulted and involved in the idea you hope to implement. Mapping and understanding all potential stakeholders and consulting them in the early phases of projects, is generally a more effective way to prevent your project being “dropped” before the finish line. Asking the simple question about who else needs to sign off on this project can be a significant time saving exercise.

What's in it (or not it it) for me?

Human beings are designed for survival. When presented with many choices we find ourselves basing decisions on outcomes that will deliver maximum benefit with minimum pain. Understanding the potential impacts on the person or group you seek to influence is a simple matter of stepping in their shoes. How could your idea impact them for better or worse, what will this mean to their day to day life, what challenges and opportunities will this present. Most impacts or benefits can be summarised to a few key areas: money, time, productivity, flexibility, growth, autonomy. On the negative side, it is the human condition to protect ourselves from situations which may threaten our survival namely disruption, exposure and failure. To be successful in influencing, it is important to present a clear shared understanding of what the benefits and concerns of your audience might be. By stating these things up front, your audience is more likely to believe you as you not only demonstrate empathy, you also disarm any concerns early.

Credibility

Used Car Sales people are often thought of as the least credible in the sales industry. This is potentially because efforts are often made to hide their less than perfect products. What makes people ultimately credible is honesty. Knowing what we are and what we are not; what we can and can not deliver, and being willing to say it out loud increases people's confidence in us.

Believe in what you are saying

It sounds simple enough, yet many of us do not apply this golden mantra. People who are genuinely confident are more likely to be influential. Some of the things many people do to diminish their influence include:

• Overuse indefinite language like “maybe” and “could”
• Constantly apologise
• Retort and back step when directly challenged rather than deal with the concern

Believing in what you are saying means that it is important not to make excuses for the statements you make. Clear simple definite statements not only build the speaker's confidence, but also the listeners'.

Understand that influencing is a process

It is important to recognise that influencing is a process. People need to go through their thinking and emotional concerns before they “buy in”. They require the time and space to go through this process. Most objections or challenges that come up when we influence are based on the genuine needs and concerns of the listeners. To be an effective influencer it is important to recognise and adapt our style to cater to the different needs of our audience. Here are some things to consider:

• Approximately 50% of people prefer to engage and ask lots of questions along the way while the other 50% prefer to take things away and consider what they speaker has said privately
• When influencing some people prefer to see practical logistical “how will that work” information where as others prefer the big picture and outcomes and are bored by the detail
• Half the population is more likely to be moved by information that is objective, scientific, tested and proven. This people are more likely to be moved by facts and figures. The rest of the population are more interested in how this will impact people, relationships and well being. It is important to know what the concerns are of your audience
• Many of us like to feel in control. Agendas which allow up front time for input and consideration provide people with a sense of control which increases the likelihood of them engaging with you

In any audience it is important to consider that you will have a diverse mix of people and all styles will need to be catered for, size up your audience and use a balanced approach to ensure you do not isolate anyone. Do your research and a needs assessment to test the water before diving in.

Question don't tell

We spend our childhood being told what to do, then we enter the workforce and again mostly get told what to do – yet reaching adulthood is considered a milestone marking the point where we get to make choices. When engaging with people the act of “telling” serves to remove the listeners' choice. Using questioning as a technique to guide and lead people to conclusions they arrive at themselves is more likely to gain buy in from your audience. Questions that provide access to influencing tend to be open yet leading and start with “what ifs” and “how might we”.