Long before people could speak or write, body language was the sole source of communication.

Body language is one of the most common and important forms of communication throughout the world.  According to communication guru Albert Mehrabian over 55% of human communication comes from body language.

So how can we read and understand a persons body language better?  Here are some practical tips designed to help you to make the most of the powerful message of body language.

Understand that body language is an expression of what a person is feeling

In his 1981 book "Body Language" Australian communication guru Alan Pease says that an individuals body language is the outward reflection of their inner emotions. Words are used to communicate factual information or to describe emotions while non-verbal communication often gives an indication of how a person is actually feeling or coping with their emotions. Whilst verbal and non-verbal communication can compliment one another, they can at times be in conflict and the real meaning of the message is easily distorted.

Look at a person's body language

To better understand a persons body language look closely at a their movements and gestures. Author of People Skills, Robert Bolton concludes “The observation of body language is important to an effective listener because it communicates what is most important to a speaker.” (1987:80). Bolton also has established some interesting guidelines for reading body language as discussed below;

• Focus on cues
  To get a true understanding of a message it is important that you focus on words but also cues such as the sound and tone of the speakers voice, vocal pitch and speed, posture, body movements, gestures and facial expressions. Some believe that facial expressions and eye movements are one of the most important clues into a persons emotions and feelings. Clothing and presentation skills also say a lot about how a person feels or what is important to them.
• Read body language in context
  To get the true meaning of the message it is vital that you take the verbal and non-verbal communication messages into context. Unlike words, which may have a few definitions, gestures do not always have the same meaning. For example nose itching does not always mean the same thing, so if you don't take into consideration the words and pattern of behaviour it may lead you to distort the message.
• Take into consideration verbal and non-verbal differences
  When a person says one thing but their actions say another, it is important that you try to understand the meaning of both messages. Both the verbal and non-verbal components are important. For example a person may laugh as they tell you about a tragedy that has occurred in their life, so in this instance it is important that you try to understand why they are apparently laughing off their message.
• Be aware of your own body language and feelings
  Bolton suggests that if you can become more aware of what your own body is experiencing and feeling when you are talking with others then you may be able to become more sensitive to their feelings. Just be aware that your body language and the way that you feel about a person or issue may effect your interpretation of the message and overall communication. Others may also perceive your body language as being judgemental.

Be aware of disguised body language

At one time or another people may attempt to disguise, hide or even fake their body language. For example someone may smile when they are really feeling angry. Many believe that even when someone tries to make an effort to control or hide their feelings that their body language can “leak” to reveal their true emotions, even for a moment. This is why it is important that you focus very closely on other communication cues and to take the verbal and non-verbal messages into context.

Go with your “gut” feel

Some people are more “people focussed” and tune into the emotions and feelings of others naturally. “People focussed” people also appear to read body language more intuitively and can get a greater understanding of what someone is saying or feeling. If you have this natural ability then you should continue to use it to gain a greater understanding of the non-verbal and verbal components of communication. For those who do not have this natural ability then they should consider taking the time to work on their people focus by improving their reflective listening skills.

At times body language can be easy to understand and at other times more complex. Reading or understanding body language better is a skill, which can be improved over time with practice. Being able to understand or read body language better can help to contribute towards an improvement in your listening, communication and overall interpersonal skills.

References:

People Skills by Robert Bolton- How to Assert Yourself, listen to others and resolve conflicts, 1987, Simon & Schuster Australia.

High Impact Presentation, A Multi-media approach: Jo Robbins: John Wiley & Sons INV: Canada: 1997.

The Modern Presenters Handbook: Jim Macnamara: Prentice Hall Australia: 1996.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R Covey: The Business Library: USA: 1989.

Improve Your People Skills: Peter Honey: Institute of Personnel Management: 1988.